Wednesday, August 29, 2018

This is 35

Swimsuit: Old (Similar Here and Here) //Visor: H&M//Earrings: Banana Republic

Every year I have mixed emotions about my birthday.  On one hand I'm super excited to celebrate the day I came into the world. On the other hand I am feeling indifferent about getting older.

We all think about where we expect our lives to be when we get a certain age. I expected myself to be married with one or two children and fully imersed in my career. I am 100% dedicated to my career as well as my blog, but I'm nowhere near married with children. Not even close!

One of the things I've had to come to terms with as I get older is that everybody's journey is different. Growing up we find a set of friends and our lives align while we're in school. Once were done with high school and college we all go on and create different paths. I created a path for myself that was dedicated to building a career. Again, I'm 100% happy with where I am professionally, however sometimes I think that if I would have made different choices my life with align closer to the ladies who I call my close friends.

The world we live in today is much different then those that came before us. With social media we live in a constant world of comparison. We show others images of our lives that only represent 10% of reality. I post pictures of outfit ideas, double tap pictures for inspiration, post about my favorite beauty products, and the vacations I take. What you don't see is how hard I work in my 9 to 5 career and how late I stay up working on posts for my readers.

This past year has been a real reality check for me. I definitely thought by 35 I would be a lot further in my personal life and potentially even further in my professional career. But I'm not. I am learning to be OK with that. That's the truth. It's very easy to say I'm happy all the time but that's not true. The truth is I am on a journey just like everyone else. I have good days, bad days, and just OK days. I'm learning to come to terms with my journey being different than those around me. I'm learning not to compare my life, my success, and my reality to those in my circle and those in a circle I wish to be a part of. Which is honestly and everyday struggle.

Each week at church I pray that I learn to accept my journey. I know accepting that my journey is different than my peers is the first step to finding mental peace. We are conditioned to torture ourselves with asking the question, "Why?" and "Why not?" I'm learning not to ask myself those questions. Instead I ask myself "What do I need to do differently?"

For some reason 35 has been a turning point for me. I don't know why. It's not a major milestone like 21, 30, 40 or 50, but for some reason 35 is resonating with me. Ideally this year will bring growth. And I know that it's all dependent on me. With the growth I plan to make in my 35th year, 36 should be a breeze.
 photo Courtney_zpsa7ea05a2.png

1 comment

  1. 35 looks real good on you. ;) You look incredible in that suit. ;) x x x


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